


I surrender who I've been for who you are, for nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart

by seleneweavers



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Lesbian Flynn (Julie and The Phantoms), Mutual Pining, Roommates, Slow Burn, Some greek myth in the mix, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28497213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seleneweavers/pseuds/seleneweavers
Summary: Julie used to get excited about the prospect of having the soulmate mark bestowed on you, but she's not sure she wants that anymore
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Flynn & Julie Molina, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 88
Kudos: 230





	1. chapter one: just to live a little life, your broken heart can

**Author's Note:**

> Soulmate au is my favorite trope, and I want to try to write one even though I find it really difficult to write one but I'll try my best
> 
> title comes from turning page by sleeping at last
> 
> chapter title comes from uneven odds by sleeping at last
> 
> I have too many WIP's but can't help but write this

When Julie was young, she likes to trace the rose vines that curves around her mother wrist, fascinated by it's beauty. 

She always thought it was a mere tattoo, nothing too important until Flynn told her about soulmate mark and it's significance. 

If the universe deemed you worthy of being loved, on the morning of your sixteen birthday there shall be a mark that was carved into your body. 

Most people have something small, a picture, a phrase, or for the more fortunate, a name. 

But there are people who wake up on their sixteen birthday without it, who remain blank. 

Some people are fortunate enough down the road when they discover that it merely a fluke, that universe needs time to bestow their gift on these people. 

Because the truth is some people soulmate hasn't yet been born, or hasn't turn sixteen yet. That, or why they wake up blank because their bond died before they were old enough to know they’d lost something in the first place. 

No one know exactly how it come to be. Why some people bear it, why some people don't. 

Some scientists suggested that it's the nature way of making it easier to find the right genetics partner-research that involves a lot of scientific terms that she doesn't really understand nor she care to learn it. 

The greeks says that humans were created with four arms, four legs, and two faces, and when the gods split them apart, fearing their power, every person on the planet had their other half to search for. Every person, not just most people. Everyone is supposed to have a soulmark.  
  
(But not everyone, as she learns how her neighbour down the road, Miss Campbell lose hers even before she get to meet him. 

She heard how Mr. Martin lost his wife when she finally met her soulmate in the grocery store. 

She often heard horror stories of people that went mad because they thought they were unworthy of being loved when the mark hasn't bloom on their skin yet) 

(She knows it's not true, that she doesn't need a mark to know that she is worthy of being loved. 

She have Flynn, and Carlos and her mom and her dad. But when she saw the rose vines that curves around her mother wrist, the way it intertwined perfectly with her father's own, she can't help but wonder, of longing the same thing) 

* * *

Her mother told her once, about the rose vines that form on her wrist, a fond smile graze her lips. "Before we bonded, the roses were white."

Julie blinks, surprised. Tracing the red roses that was vibrant, all kind of lovely that engraved on her mother arms. 

"I can't imagine it being white," She murmurs, amazed. 

"It was mija. For the longest time it was white. And then slowly but surely the colors change. It was dull-unoticable even. But it changed. And i realized, i have met my match."

"How do you know for sure he was yours?" Julie paused realizing how stupid she sound. From the matching marks of course. Julie ponders upon it for a minute before asking again, "How do you know for sure that you love him? That you love him regardless whether you're a matching pair or not?"

Her mother smiles, tucking one of her wild curls back. "When it's time, when you finally have yours mija, I'll tell you."

(But her mother didn't have the time to explain to her, before the universe decided to take her mother away from her grasp. 

But that's another story) 

* * *

Every person has a different place and a different motif for their marks. 

Julie learns that roses first sprang forth during the birth of Aphrodite. She emerged, fully grown from her father body, and as the sea foam around her touches the earth, bushes of white roses appear. 

The petals become red when one of Aphrodite beloved lovers, Adonis lay dying and in her haste she scracthes herself on of the rose bushes, turning the white petals into blood red. 

(Julie thinks it's the universe cruel joke, that her parent marks were white before it turn red after they're bonded. 

How it probably meant that they were doomed from the start, that one was meant to be lost without the other) 

(Julie remember the way the color slowly fade from her mother wrist as she lay dying in her hospital bed. 

The way like the red were never there to begin with. Dull. Lifeless. 

How she remember seeing the white on her father wrist, the way the color seeps out completely has make her sick) 

If this what it means to be marked, to have the universe dictates your life, she doesn't want it. 

(Julie used to pity the people who doesn't bear the mark. But maybe they are the lucky ones) 

* * *

On the night of her sixteen birthday, she can feel dread start to pool at the bottom of her stomach. 

Flynn has called her excitedly, that she will love the mark, that it will be wonderful after all the things that happened last year. 

Thankfully, Flynn seem to be oblivious on her lack of enthusiasm or probably she thinks Julie is too nervous of such things. 

(Flynn has gotten hers, months before. A bird. A dove, on her shoulder. 

Still colourless because she hasn't met her match. Yet. 

But knowing Flynn, Julie knows her best friend will haunt down her match with the sheer power of her will alone, and she will find the person) 

She went to sleep only wishing for one thing. To wake up blank. Without any mark engraved on her body. 

The next morning, Julie wakes up seeing nothing on her skin. She can't help but feel relieved. 

But it's gone when she take notice of the mark beneath her ribcage that curl around near her hips. 

A music note. 

* * *

When such things still matters, Julie likes to analzye the placement of people soulmark, like it will certainly makes more sense if she does. 

Her parents matching mark at the inside of their wrist feels intentional, the way it's not really visible until you look. How the rose vines blend beautifully with the veins in her parents wrist. 

(A lifeline, maybe. Something that utmost importance. 

It certainly feels like it) 

Flynn dove is a small thing, nothing that too noticable. A sharp contrast to her best friend personality. It placed near her shoulder joint, like it will fly at any moment. 

(Someone reliable. Someone that you can lean on. 

With the dove being a symbol of purity and peace, Julie thinks it fits) 

Julie wasn't the first person to have a musical notation engraved across their skin, she feel like it's not possible, but she also never find people that have soulmark this big and this flashy. 

She doesn't try to decipher what it means. Quickly tugging at her shirt to cover it. 

She doesn't want to touch it, or seen it. Or even trying to understand it. It's too much, too soon. 

The irony that it's a musical note when she haven't played any music over a year doesn't lost on her either. 

She thinks that the universe is cruel that way. 

(At that times like this, Julie want her mom so desperately. To pull her into a warm embrace, bestowing a small kiss on her forehead. 

"Of course it will be a musical note mija."

Julie can picture her mom perfectly, eyes sparkling. Smiling at her teasingly. "Maybe your soulmate will love music as much as you do.") 

(But that the thing isn't it? She's not sure if she loves music anymore.

Her mother's piano has been gathering dust for over a year now) 

Julie can feel the familiar pinprick of tears everytime she remember her mother, taking a deep breath because she fucking promised herself that she will stop crying this time around. 

She takes a deep breath, and start all over again.

* * *

  
"Happy Birthday niña,"Her dad greeted her warmly, already pulling her into a hug. 

Julie laughs, surprised. " Thank you, papi."

"Sixteen. Time flies so fast."

"I'm just turning sixteen, not getting married."

"Well, I still remember you in your diaper mija. That feels like yesterday."

"Dad."

Her dad chuckle before kissing her forehead. His face changed for a moment, eyes searching. Curious. "So. Sixteen. That's big."

"It is," She answers carefully. Trying not to move too much, betraying her nerves. 

"So. Did something happened last night?"

She sighs. Now or never, she supposed. "Yes."

Her dad raises his eyebrow. "That's it? I remember when I first got the mark mija. I can't sit still. Checking at my wrist every second to make sure it's real."

Julie smiles turn bittersweet. Taking her dad's hand, tracing the white rose vines that still curl around his wrist. "Because it's beautiful."

"So is yours not pretty then?"

"I don't know," She replied honestly. 

"You don't know?"

"I guess it's pretty enough," She answer vaguely. Remembering the small glimpse she gets to see, the way the notes cover her skin from her ribcage to her hips. 

"Hey," Her father says gently. "You don't have to talk about it."

But not talking about it feels worse somehow, so she barells on, "It's a music note, Dad."

"Oh."

"I think I will like it. With time. But without mom..."

"For the record, mija. I think who ever get your mark is so very lucky."

Julie giggles quietly, "You just say that because I'm your daughter."

Her dad smiles, "But it still true anyway. "

* * *

  
It's not like she's the most popular girl in school anyways (That title belongs to Los Feliz High own, Carrie Wilson) 

But after her mother death's and her refusal to sing in the music class, for a while Julie knows that the attention seem to all be focused on hers. 

So when she goes to school that day, she can't help but feeling that people were staring at her as she passed through the hallway.

(It's not like anyone knows that today is her birthday. Her sixteen nonetheless) 

“Hey, underachiever.”

A small smile started to graze her lips. 

“Hey, disappointment,” she greeted Flynn.

Flynn grinned back at her, binders tucked to her chest. "Happy Birthday, Jules!"

"Stop." She reprimand harsher than necessary. Seeing the way Flynn falls, she started to feel bad. "I'm sorry. I just don't want any necessary attention right now."

Flynn face changed, "I get it. Yeah. I'm sorry. Okay, I know you don’t want me to ask, but have you figured out what you’re going to do today?”

Trying to look like she actually know what she's doing, she answer. "I’ll know in the moment."

"Really, Jules?” Flynn asked, unimpressed, "That’s all you’re giving me? Mrs. Harrison said this is your last chance."

"I know,” Julie insisted. "I was there."

Truthfully, she didn't even know what she's gonna perform today. She's been avoiding thinking about it until last moment. 

Music is not the same without her mother. Everything is not the same without her mother. 

It feels like betrayal. Doing something that she used to do with her mother, without her being here. 

A crazy thought started to cross her mind. Maybe she could play the notes that bloom on her body. That's not cheating right? It doesn't seem like it's a song that people have made, knowing her. 

"Okay, something bothering you. What's on your mind, Jules."

Julie sighed, "I got the marks last night."

Flynn eyes widen, "You did! Where? What is it?"

"My torso."

"Wait. Your torso. Like all over it?" Flynn ask, skeptical. Julie don't blame her. Soulmark usually are small and non noticable. 

"Yup."

"What kind of soulmark is that big..."

"A music note?" 

Flynn squeals, "Jules!"

"What?"

"Wow, that's big. No pun intended."

She snort, closing her locker door quickly. 

"There’s that smile." Flynn grinned, "Now, let’s go prove everybody wrong."


	2. chapter two: our mistakes, we're bound to made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I merge the first and the second chapter because I realize I really want to the third chapter is when the story finally move forward. 
> 
> this chapter is still just me setting up the story, the boys will be in the story in the next chapter. 
> 
> I realize I keep imagining Julie that doesn't want her soulmate and end up being the roommate of said soulmate to be hilarious. 
> 
> I have outlined most of the story, but it will probably be 15 chapter max. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this very short chapter (I'm getting kinda impatient tbh) title chapter comes from I'll keep you safe by sleeping at last

Julie tries her best-but maybe her best is not enough. 

Sitting at that chair feels wrong, playing music feels terribly wrong without her mother and all she could think about everytime is sitting close to her mother hospital bed while she lay dying, while the nurses and the doctor is trying to revive her mother while all she can do is watch as the red slowly fade away into white. 

Julie didn't sing. She in fact, cannot prove it to everyone that she can do this. 

It end up being a tough conversation for everyone. With her dad, with Flynn, with Mrs. Harrison. 

Everyone keep telling her how she waste her talent away, how she's gonna regret her choices in the long run. 

(But everytime she try to press the piano keys all she can picture is her mom fighting for her life while she can't do anything about it) 

The mark changes along with her. A living breathing thing like she does. It's hard not to notice, it swirls around her torso, lines a little faded but visible enough that she realizes when it's turning into pitch black. 

It settles when Julie turning eighteen, sharp and defined. Feels like a brand, that is engraved on her body and someone else that she doesn't know. 

Julie doesn't want it. She never want it. 

(That's a lie. She remember tracing the rose in her mother wrist and wondering where her mark will come to be. 

Julie remember drawing a Dahlia in her wrist, pretending that is her soul mark. Her mother complimenting her drawing, kissing her cheeks while her dad kiss her wrist and telling her that's it beautiful, her soul mark) 

Julie doesn't want the universe to dictate her life, how she get to live. 

She knows many people that grow up and never finding their bond, people that choose their own love story, that choose to fall in love without a divine sign from the universe to tell them how they get to live. To love. 

Some of those people end up erasing their soul mark, going to surgery to erase what once was there. 

(Julie thought about it, but she remembers how her mother always try her best to make her soul mark visible, showing it proudly to people the red rose vines that marked her wrist. 

How her dad still like to trace the white rose from time to time, the smile that tug at his lips, the faraway look in his eyes, and Julie knows that her dad is somewhere else, missing his soulmate as much as Julie miss her mother) 

(And the thought of depriving someone else soul mate feel cruel. Julie maybe don't want her soul mate but erasing it completely feels wrong) 

There are times where she can feel it come to live, her marks become warm when she least expected it. 

(She find that it means her soulmate feeling a strong emotions, and it makes her feel even more terrible because this is, real-

That there are someone, out there who have the same mark in their body) 

Sometimes, when she's feeling lonely, she likes to trace the mark with her hand. Imagining reaching to her soul mate, imagining that they do this too. 

Trying to form a connection to someone that they don't even know, to someone that she doesn't even know how they look like. 

Julie never try to play the music note that carves into her skin. She doesn't want to hear how the melody sound.

But she's seen it enough times now that she already memorize how it looks like at the back of her eyelids. 

But all she ever wanted, is that she never find her other half. That she never experience the heartbreak that her dad going through.


	3. chapter three: connect the dots and cherrish every lines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna stick to sleeping at last throughout this whole series, so. title chapter comes from 101010 by sleeping at last. I hope you enjoy this

"Are you sure you're okay moving out?" 

"Flynn." Julie chastise, already tired of having the same conversation over and over again. "I'm sure.   
Can I please eat my breakfast in peace now?"

Flynn grimace, looking pained. "I just feel bad. I'm being a really bad friend right now."

"Probably," She teases. "But it's my decision. Beside, Jaime practically live here. Her lease is up, and she needs a place to live."

"You can still live here you know."

It's her turn to grimace. "As much as I love smelling the new baked goods Jaime makes, I'm not comfortable being around you two when you're all in love and lovely dovey like that. It bummed me out."

Putting down her glass of coffee, Flynn pulled her into a hug. "You'll always be my first love, Jules."

Julie just go with it. "Noted."

"You can always find your other half if you're so lonely," Flynn states innocently, letting her go."It's wonderful actually."

Julie started choking on her pancakes. "Oh yeah, let me ask for my dates to go topless so I can see if they have this obnoxious tattoo in their torso or not. That will go great."

Flynn sighs, "I'm just saying. I know you think having a soulmate is a burden, but it's not. The mark is there for a reason."

(Of course Flynn will say it like that when she already bonded with Jaime, this amazing half Korean girl who accidentally pour her frappuccino onto Flynn shirt that resulted in her mark being visible to Jaime who only gapes at her, surprised. 

Flynn, being pissed off by said girl who only stare at her wordlessly started ranting before being cut off by Jaime who pull Flynn into a hug. 

One coffee started turning into dinner and dinner turning into Jaime practically living in their apartment. 

Honestly, Julie saw it coming. Saw it since Flynn gushes to her about how pretty Jaime is, how Jaime smells so nice, and her smile is 'just so beautiful, Julie.') 

(This is why she hates how soulmate works. You meet someone, and already latching into the idea that they are perfect for you because you have the same exact tattoo marked in your body. 

It's not like a guarantee happiness either, there are rare cases where soulmate started falling out, or the love become unrequited. 

It's not as black as white as it seems, this whole soulmate theory) 

Flynn nod her head, determined. "I'm going with you today."

Julie raised one of her eyebrows, "But I thought you're gonna meet Jaime today?"

"It can wait. I need to help you find your future roommates today."

Julie snort, amused. "You're saying it like we're gonna meet someone important."

"Who knows." Flynn shrugs. "Maybe we'll also find your soulmate today."

* * *

  
Julie is grateful that Flynn decided to join her today because trying to find a new apartment lead her into some very questionable places that will makes her skin crawl if she didn't have her best friend with her right now. 

The last place they go to is a loft that based on the description, 'have many open spaces, earth tones colors and sun soaked' 

It doesn't give her much, but it sound nice. It certainly beat the last place they went too. 

Imagine her suprise when the person that open the door is a guy with jet black hair, a red flannel tied around his waist. 

"You're not a girl," She utters, surprised. Julie winces immediately. "I'm sorry. Hi. It's been a long day."

The boy in front of her doesn't seem to mind, only grin at her. "Julie?"

"Yeah. I'm here for the vacant room?"

"You come to the right place. I'm Reggie."

"Julie. Oh yeah you know that."

Reggie laughs before offering his hand. She takes it, trying to hide her nerves. This seem like a bad idea. This seem like a really bad idea. 

Flynn seem to be at ease, already introducing herself to Reggie who seem trying his best to impress Flynn. 

(It will be amusing if she's not so damn terrified) 

"Hi, you must be Julie." A tall blonde guy offer his hand to her. She try to offer her best smile. "I'm Alex. I hope it fit with the description in the ad?"

"I don't think it does." It's another guy that answer the question not her. Wearing a sleeveless rush band shirt and a cut off blue jackets. Does this guy allergic to sleeves? "You used to many fancy words Lex."

"And that's Luke." Alex says, exasperated. "I still hope you like what you've seen so far, Julie."

Julie nods, her eyes already examining the spaces around her. Like the ad said, it really filled with many earth tones color and there's so many open spaces it makes the place feel homey. 

Her blood froze when she saw the grand piano that sit near the open windows. "Do any of you play piano?"

(If her voice sound a little shaky, she hopes these boys didn't notice) 

"Reggie does. But he prefer to play his bass," Alex says matter of factly. "This was here when we moved in."

"Also, about that." Luke adds. "We're in a band. So we're gonna be a little loud."

Before she can object to this new piece of information, Flynn cuts in, holding her arm tight. "Oh that's okay. We play music too."

"My mom plays," Julie interject, fast. Glaring at Flynn who just smiles at her innoncently. "I don't."

"O..kay." Alex answer nodding his head, clearly doesn't want to acknowledge whatever that was. "We only have one bathroom, your room already been furnished. You can check it if you want to."

Julie nodded her assent, already falling in love with the bedroom that will be hers if she accept it.   
It's a little simple, sure. But she likes the open windows, and the spacious room with a wide shelf already prepared for her. It beats the cramped room of her old apartment, that's for sure. 

"What she's doing here?" Luke suddenly ask, pointing at Flynn. 

"Moral support. Also Trying to make sure that you're not a serial killer."

"Flynn!" She hisses. Mortified. 

"What? So they know what they're getting into." Flynn give them a charming smile. "We're not a serial killer either. Let's cut to the chase shall we."

Reggie snort, before trying to disguise it with a cough. 

"Julie really need a place and I feel bad making her do this. And you guys seem decent, right Jules."

"Right," She admits a little begrudgingly. "All the apartment we saw is a little too expensive or in an awful shape. This seem perfect actually."

Luke hums, contemplating. His green eyes seem to examine her a little bit, and it makes her feel warm all over. 

(Luke smells like trouble. With the cut off shirt and those green eyes. It makes her feel seen, somehow. Those eyes) 

"Can we discuss this first before we say anything?" Luke ask her. 

"Sure."

Without a word, the three boys seem to be gone right before her eyes. 

She turns to Flynn. "Are you really sure we're okay with this place?"

"The rent is good, the place is not that bad and they seem decent. Also cute."

Julie roll her eyes. "Flynn."

"I have eyes! I might be in a committed relationship but I still have eyes!"

"You're not into boys."

"Doesn't mean what I said isn't true," Flynn shoot back. "Beside on the off chance one of them is your soulmate..."

"Don't even go there," Julie warned. Voice sharp. 

"Jules..."

"I mean it."

Flynn sighs, opening her mouth to say something before getting interrupted. 

"I guess you're in newbie," Luke says. "Welcome."

  
  


* * *

  
"Should we tell your dad that you're moving with a bunch of strangers."

Julie sighs, already not looking forward to that conversation. "I'll tell him."

"When?"

She shrugs, "That depends."

"I have to lie to your dad isn't it?" Flynn ask wrly. 

"Until I'm sure he's not freaking out that I'm living with three dudes and not my best friend."

Flynn roll her eyes, "He will freak out."

"He totally will. But I'm just waiting for the inevitable."

"And that is?" Flynn inquiries, tilting her head. 

Putting her head on the table, Julie groans. "That I'm not making a horrible decision."

Caressing her head, Flynn seem to take a pity on her. "Who knows? Maybe this is a good idea after all."

Julie sighs. She really hope it is. "Maybe."


	4. chapter four: these invisible walls, just might keep us safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title chapter comes from, six by sleeping at last

title chapter comes from, six by sleeping at last

It's hard living with the boys.   
They are right. They're loud. 

Julie remember trying to drown the sound of the guys playing while she try her best to come back to sleep. 

Groaning when the sound of their music seem to shake her bedroom wall. It seems like she's in the middle of an earthquake. It certainly feels like it.   
Realizing that it's a lost cause, she decided to start the day early anyway. 

Unfortunately, her room literally beside the boys rehearsal space so they notice her immediately, still in her pajamas, her curly hair been put in a messy bun at top of her head. 

It's a far cry from her daily look, but she figured that these boys will see her look like a mess on daily basis. 

Alex notice her first, smiling sheepishly at her-stop playing his drums while Luke and Reggie follow him not long after. 

"Did we wake you?" Alex ask, concerned. 

She shake her head, offering a small smile. Too polite to complain. 

Luke started strumming his guitar again, before looking up at her smiling eagerly. "What do you think, Julie?" 

"You guys are kinda good," She offers, nodding her head slightly. 

Luke started to pout, "Kinda good?" 

"Julie, I already made coffee in the table!" Alex interject fast, pointing at the kitchen with his drum sticks. "If you want some."

"It won't kill you," Reggie adds, while he started cackling loudly when Alex try to throw the drum stick at his body but fails terribly. 

These boys. Goodness. Maybe she can ask Flynn to let her back. One day and she already questioning her decision to move. 

"Right." Awkwardly she gives Alex a thumbs up while Luke snort. Julie can feel herself start to redden. "Thank's."

Without hearing Alex's answer, she started to bolt quickly to the bathroom. She needs to clear her head right about now. 

* * *

It takes time getting used to. Hearing the boys playing music almost everyday has it downside. 

The piece of paper that is wake up seem to be burning in her nightstand, begging to be played, to filled the spaces with it's melody. 

It gets too unbearable one day that Julie decided to go back to her old apartment for a while, enjoying Jaime and Flynn company. 

"When are you gonna come back?" Flynn ask her one morning, nursing her morning coffee as usual. 

Julie arched her eyebrow, seeping her coffee slowly. "Eager to get rid of me are you?" 

"No. Just want to say 'I told you so.'" Julie groans loudly. "Besides, Alex ask me when you'll come back too."

Julie sat up instantly. "Since when you have Alex's number?"

Flynn smirk, "Since the first day silly. He seem like the most reasonable one and I need one of those boys number to keep tabs on you."

Julie grew silence, choosing to drink her coffee instead of answering. 

"The boys started to wonder if they do something to offend you. Alex even promised me that Luke and Reggie will try to behave."

She can't help but smile. "I just.. It's hard being around them sometime. They remind me too much of Mom."

"Unless those boys are secretly middle aged women, no I don't see the resemblance."

Julie gives Flynn an unimpressed look. 

Flynn laughs, "I know, I know. Jeez. Just trying to lighten the mood."

"It still feel wrong. Without her."

"Look, hear me out okay?" She nodded, letting Flynn continues. "Ease in slowly. It's okay. You gotta start somewhere."

She sighs, knowing that Flynn is right. "I guess so."

* * *

  
It doesn't feel as painful anymore, hearing music. She doesn't let herself enjoy it though, still feeling like she doesn't deserve it. 

Still, Julie likes seeing them play. The three of them is mesmerizing when they played together, bouncing off each other energy, a well oiled machine. 

(Sunset Curve is going places someday, Julie knows that for sure) 

Dealing with the boys individually is a different matter entirely. 

Alex is the most sensible one, who seem to understand her boundaries and know when to give Julie the space she needed. 

Reggie means well, but sometimes his behavior is a little...questionable. Beside it doesn't help that he likes to steal her shampoo. 

"It makes me smell like cookies," Reggie respond easily when she finally confront him about his tendecies to steal her scented coconut shampoo. 

Julie really doesn't know whether she wants to cry or laugh or do both. Alex on the other hand look genuinely baffled. 

Luke without prompting started to smell Reggie's hair. She can feel her lips twitching in amusement. "Oh you totally does."

Reggie brighten. "Right?"

"Totally!"

Alex sighs loudly beside her, "Okay."

While she can't help but laugh. 

Luke on the other hand. Julie doesn't know what's going on his head half the time. She's not sure she can keep up either. 

Julie knows most people tend to gravitate towards Luke, the guy is charming, combined with his good looks and his tendencies to put so much attention to his muscle by not wearing a proper shirt half the time (most of the time) she understand why Luke is so magnetic. 

But sometimes his entushiam is too much, too stifling when all she wants to do is curl up in her bed and forget the world for a little while. 

(Luke's passion toward music burn bright and it's a reminiscent of her mom, of her in the past that she start distancing herself for a while from Luke Patterson and those green eyes) 

There's an incident that makes it easier to keep her distance from Luke without being suspicious. 

When Luke accidentally opening her bedroom door while she changed her clothes. 

"GAHHH!"

"I'm so sorry!"

On the other side of the loft, Julie can hear loud noises before Alex shout, alarmed. "What's going on?"

Julie and Luke look at each other simultaneously and answer, "Nothing!"

Realizing that she's still half naked with her shirt hanging between her body, Luke instantly looks away. 

"Don't you knock?" Julie ask, sharp. Thank god her back to him when he comes in, her obnoxious mark will not be visible. Quickly she puts her shirt back on. "It's rude to open people door without knocking! My brother would know."

"I'm an only child!" Luke answer, still closing his eyes. Julie keeps that new information at the back of her mind. "Are you decent?"

"Yes," She says begrudgingly. Luke smiles at her sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck. 

"Sorry. I forgot that you're a girl. I mean that come out wrong. Yes, you're a girl. An attractive one at that."

She can't help but raises her eyebrow questioningly. Luke seem to wince, realizing his tongue slip. 

"Ugh.. I mean. Dinner's ready. We're waiting for you."

(All four of them have dinner every once in a while to keep up with each other life. 

Even though it's been two months, the conversation still a little stilted, still need getting time to used to. 

But she enjoys it, enjoy the company that are these three boys) 

"Right. I need to change first."

Luke blinks, surprised. "Oh. Right. Sorry."

She waved him off. "It's okay."

Safe to say, Luke can't see her in the eye for a while after that. 

* * *

Julie doesn't really believe the forecast when she saw that there will be a heavy thunderstorm. 

But then the storm really happened and it turn out worse than she actually thinks. Julie never likes storms, storms are loud and it makes her afraid. 

Julie was curled in her bed, safe and sound when the lights starts to go out. This is seriously started to grate on nerves. 

There's a knock at the front door. "Julie?"

(These days, Luke will always knock on her door before he comes in, announcing his presence loudly before he open the door. 

She found it cute, that he actually listen to her) 

"Yeah?"

"We're in the living room, do you want to join us?"

She found herself hesitating before another loud rumbling startled her. "Yeah sure."

Opening her door, Julie found Luke leaning next to the wall. She can't see well in the darkness, the light that come from her phones doesn't help much either. 

Another lightning strikes, and she started to jump a little bit, her eyes auautomatically shut close. 

"You're okay?" Luke ask, concerned. 

Julie sighs, "I never like storms."

Without a word, Luke reached out with one arm, draping it over Julie's shoulder so he could pull her close. 

She doesn't know Luke that well, but it does feel better having his arm around her like this. 

They let the silence hang in the air between them as they arrived on the living room. 

Julie can see Alex and Reggie sitting on the sofa, there's an assortment of snack between them and two bottles of beer while they argue about something, that she's not entirely sure about.

(Knowing the two, it probably something ridiculous but she will listen to it anyway) 

She decided to sit next to Reggie while Luke seem to choose the empty space next to Alex. 

Julie kinda miss his warmth already, tugging at the blanket that sit near her while she continues to listen the argument between Alex and Reggie. 

The storms doesn't seem to subdue any time soon, so she started to offer stories to the boys to distract herself, all the shenanigans that she do with Flynn since they were in the middle school. 

In turn, Alex, Reggie and Luke have some stories to offer too. The stories become more embarrassing than the last as she find herself laughing her ass off in the sofa. 

It's when they started to find them self with no stories to offer that Luke started strumming his guitar to random tune and Alex started to tap the table lightly and Reggie started to clap and the boys started to sing, trying to drown the sound of the rain outside. 

Julie can't help but laugh, seeing the impromptu show that she gets to see, how it doesn't feel as heavy anymore hearing and feeling music like this. 

She doesn't let herself sing, no not yet. But she lets the feeling linger, let herself enjoyed it as she listen, as she grow quiet and let the music wrap her after so long running from it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you like this! my former crush once says the perfume I used smell like cookies so I decided to incorporate it even though he's more similar to Luke than Reggie but I feel like it's something that Reggie would say. 
> 
> i know LA probably didn't have that many storms but for the sake of the story, i used storms.


	5. chapter five: just some information upon my skin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title comes from, touch by sleeping at last. this has been beta read by Lea because my grammar is atrocious and I'm terrible at spelling lol. also, I likes this chapter a lot, I hope you like this too!

"Where are we going?"

There are times where Julie doesn't mind the boy's antics. It's rather amusing actually, seeing all of them interact with each other. 

Alex flair for dramatic mix with his pragmatism is a combination she didn't expect from the usually sensible drummer, Reggie's cheerful demeanor and endless energy is something that she greatly appreciated and Luke's charm and puppy dog eyes is something that she can't resist most days.

But the fact is, Julie hates surprises and being kidnapped is not on her to do list today. 

"It's a surprise," Luke pipes in from the front seat, still trying to take control of the car while Alex glare at Luke through his peripheral, trying to focus on the road. 

"I hate surprises."

"It's your lucky day then," Alex mutters quietly. Julie is not in a charitable mood today, so she kicks Alex seat in retaliation. 

Alex lets out a yelp, "Trying to drive here!"

"Badly," Luke adds, which earns him a pinch in the arm from Alex. 

"Alex! Focus!" Reggie calls out.

Alex let out a huff and put both his hands on the steering wheel again. "Both of you, behave!" 

Luke pouts, "I was trying to talk and then you have something to say!"

Alex rolls his eyes, "It's called conversation, Luke."

Julie tries to disguise her laugh with a cough while Reggie snickers beside her. Luke looks even more petulant than before. It's adorable. 

"Will any of you answer my question?"Julie asks again. 

Reggie tilts his head, " Who doesn't love surprises anyway?"

"Me?"

"That's a shame."

"Still don't trust us, Jules?" Luke jokes. She knows he's not entirely joking either. 

The car is deadly silent while they stopped at the traffic light. Alex tapping lightly on the steering wheel, Luke discreetly trying to take a peek at her facial expressions from the front seat while Reggie doesn't even disguise his curiosity. 

She let out an exaggerated sigh, "I won't trust any of you if you guys keep doing this."

"Relax," Reggie muttered from beside her. Laying his head on her shoulder. Julie let it. "It's not something scary."

She reaches out, patting Reggie's head. "Good way to calm the girl, Reg."

Luke chuckles from the front seat, "You'll love it."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Julie should have figured it out when she saw the guitar in the car. 

"It's not like I've never seen you guys play. Oh right. I did. _Every single day_."

Luke shrugs, his eyes filled with mirth. "You've never seen us play for the crowd."

"It's Luke's idea," Alex adds, shaking his head slightly. 

"It's a rite of passage. Julie should know that we're the real deal."

"Julie should sing too!" Reggie offers, "She probably knows some of Sunset Curve's lyrics anyway. "

She clears her throat, " No I'm terrible. My voice is the worst."

For good measure, she pretends to cough. Badly. Thankfully, Reggie is too oblivious and Luke seems to accept her reasoning. Alex catches her eyes, curious but didn't call her out on the lie. 

Standing a little far away from the guys, Julie let herself watch them as they perform. 

Alex started the rhythm, while Reggie and Luke started strumming the guitar. It never stops being mesmerizing, watching the guys play. 

Luke’s voice already catches some people’s attention, but none has given them any money. 

Julie shouts some encouragement, clapping her hand excitedly, trying to hype the boys and gather some people’s attention. It does make people more curious. 

Luke gives her a wink, and she tries not to get flustered from it. Stupid attractive guitarist. The last thing she needs is forming a crush on one of her housemates. _Nope_. 

Alex and Reggie started to join Luke on the chorus, their voices blend smoothly with Luke's own. 

She's itching to join, already knowing the lyrics and the harmony by heart. Listening to the boys practice almost everyday has given her plenty of time to memorize the lyrics to their song. 

Julie thinks it's one thing to listen to them play, it's another thing entirely to sing with them. She tries to hold back the urge, tapping her feet lightly to the beat while she enjoys the performance. 

She doesn't know how long the boys perform, but at the end of it they seem to gather enough money. 

"Not bad," She jokes. "That was good you guys!"

Luke tugs at her ponytail lightly. "One day, we're gonna get that compliment we deserve from your lips Jules."

"I think that you guys get enough compliments from other people already."

Alex smiles, a little shy. "Yeah. But your opinion matters, Jules."

Reggie nods, agreeing while Luke started twirling one of her curls in his hand, avoiding her gaze. 

She opens her mouth, trying to say something. But no sound came out. These boys. Julie doesn't know when she started becoming a part of people that they deemed important, but she knows she feels the same way too. 

Tugging at Luke's arm and curling her other arm to Reggie's own, she pulls all of them into a hug. 

They probably make a weird bunch, standing there in a circle with their arms around each other. But Julie doesn't care. 

"For the record, I think you guys are amazing."

Reggie whoops and Alex shaking his head, amused. Luke only holds her shoulder a little tighter as she tries to ignore the way it makes her feel a little lighter. 

* * *

  
  


Julie found Luke nursing a beer in the kitchen while she tries to take some yoghurt from the fridge. "Can't sleep?" 

Luke nods, pointing his head at the journal on the table. "You?"

Leaning on the fridge, she answers, "Same."

He doesn't offer her any explanation, so she let the silence hang between them. Deciding that the yoghurt is not enough, she searches the strawberries that she just bought last week. 

"If you're trying to search for the strawberries, I think Reggie ate some of it."

Julie let out a huff. At least there's still some strawberries left. Taking several of it, she washes it and cuts them into quarters, mixing it with her yoghurt. 

"Seem serious," Julie inquires, pointing at the open journal in the table. 

Luke smiles sheepishly at her. "Yeah. My mind is all over the place right now."

"My mom used to do that all the time too."

Julie doesn't mean for the word to come out, but Luke only looks at her expectantly. She clears her throat, "My mom was a songwriter too. And sometimes when she couldn’tsleep, she decided to write lyrics and harmonies, trying to make them make sense because it centered her."

She hides the fact that most of the time, Julie was there too. Offering some ideas, and being excited with the prospect of a new song because nothing beats the feeling of creating something new entirely on your own. 

"I'm sorry," Luke says. She nods, acknowledging the sentiment. "She sounds like a true musician."

Julie smiles slightly, "Yeah. She was."

Luke pats the seat next to him, inviting her to sit next to him. She obliges, continuing to eat her yoghurt while Luke focuses back on writing. 

It takes a lot from her not to stare at Luke while he writes. He seems to be lost in his own world, humming some melodies and mumbling some words that seem to fit the harmony before hunching back into his journal, writing the words down. 

It reminds Julie of her mom, that burst of creativity every once in a while, the triumph of finally figuring some things out. It makes her itch for the pen, sit on the piano bench and just write. 

The urge was never this strong before. 

Luke looks up, giving her a grin. Julie thinks that even underneath the dim lighting of the kitchen light, Luke smile is still the most brilliant thing. 

She clears her throat, trying to hide her awkwardness. Last thing she needs is noticing how beautiful her housemate’s smile actually is. 

"I should go. I still have classes tomorrow."

Luke gives her a soft smile, and it makes her heart start beating erractically beneath her ribcage. "Good night, Jules."

"Good night, Luke."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Kyle is a welcome distraction. 

She doesn't need any complication in her life right now, and knowing Kyle feels like a breath of fresh air. 

He's funny, charming and has a nice smile. Julie likes the simplicity of knowing Kyle, how they met accidentally in the library while she tried to write her assignment and he happened to sit next to her. 

An offer for coffee turned into a date to the movies. 

(Julie tries to ignore the fact that Kyle’s hair is a shade to light, his eyes the color of honey. His hands smooth instead of filled with calluses. 

She's trying to ignore the fact that it's harder to pretend that she doesn't feel anything for Luke when even with Kyle in front of her, she still thinks about him) 

Kyle has a soulmate, it's hard not to notice when the mark was visible underneath the collar of his shirt. 

He only gives Julie a small smile when he catches her staring at the mark. Julie can't help but feel guilty. It's a private thing, soulmark. No matter how some marks are visible to the eyes of others. 

Kyle shrugs, "It's okay. You're not the first person to stare at it."

"No. It's not. It's a private thing. I shouldn't."

"Well, I don't mind having your eyes on me though," He offers, giving her a flirtatious smile. 

She let out a laugh, "Noted."

Kyle’s soulmark seems to have been colored, which means that he has met his own soulmate. Julie’s own has turned into a darker shade of blue, but that doesn't mean anything she figures. 

So when Kyle tells her off the bat that he thinks he has met his soulmate but is not sure who it is, that he doesn't care for it because he'd rather choose someone for his own, she accepts it. 

It's their choice and their choice alone. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Two weeks later she's been proven wrong. Apparently, Kyle has known his soulmate all along, and has been in a relationship for over a year now. 

Julie hates betrayal, and being put as the other women, a home wrecker because Kyle has a soulmate and he's in a relationship with said soulmate has made the whole ordeal ten times terrible. 

She's curled up on the sofa in the living room when Luke finds her. 

"Julie?" He asks, puzzled. 

She blinks languidly, letting out a sad smile. "Hey."

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Doesn't seem like nothing."

Julie snorts, before patting the seat next to her. It's a little messy, she still has tissues strewn around her but Luke obeys, already offering her his arm while she lays her head on his shoulder. 

It's a little weird, this casual intimacy. She knows Luke doesn't mind it, knows how easy it is for him to reach out to Alex and Reggie when he needs to. It's how he expresses his affection. 

Luke started humming a silly tune, and she can't help but bury herself into Luke. Letting his scent surround her, feeling the vibration from his voice, the steady thrum of his heartbeat. 

"What do you think of soulmates?" She can't help but ask. There's something about Luke that seems to make her spill her guts when she doesn’t mean to. 

Luke pauses. A beat later he answered, "They exist."

Hitting his chest lightly, she says, "I'm being serious!"

Luke chuckles, "I don't know what you want me to say, Jules."

"I don't believe in it," She admits, voice small. "It's like the universe dictates the people we love."

"I don't understand romantic love," Luke starts. It's not something she expected, but she lets him continue. "I can make sense of how friendship love grows between two people. I think...It takes time, and it's a long process. That loyalty it's not something easily bought."

Julie knows Luke talking from his own experience, something that she finds curious how these boys come to be. 

"I think, soulmarks in it simplicity is a mark," He continues. "A helping hand of some sorts. There's a quote that stuck in my head for some time, i think it goes 'The Giraffe has its heart far from its thoughts. She does not know she fell in love yesterday.' You know, giraffe with it long neck, the brain and the heart take time to meet. But the heart knows how to love, the brain cannot condition it."

"I like that."

Luke sighs, "Yeah I like that too. It makes a little sense to me. I don't think it's a burden. You still have a choice you know. When the brain and the heart finally meet, it's your choice to make. The soulmark is just something to make it a little easier."

Julie looks up, seeing Luke already staring back at her. She hopes that he doesn't notice the flush that started forming on her cheeks. Poking at his chest, she teases, "I don't know you were such a romantic."

Luke shrugs, looking a little flustered. Good thing that it's not only her that feels weird from their conversation, "I just figured it out myself."

She laughs, "You should write a love song."

A soft smile grazes his lips, "Maybe."

* * *

  
  


Julie yearns to write the melody that has been engraved into her body, her soulmark. 

Her compass. _A helping hand._

It doesn't help that it's been tingling after her conversation with Luke, a steady _thrum, thrum, thrum_ beneath her skin 

But Julie knows she cannot play the melody in her body without playing 'wake up' first. 

So gathering her courage before she loses her nerve she waits until the loft is empty. 

It feels weird sitting in front of the piano again. But she welcomes the feeling, lets it wash over her until she presses the keys of the piano, testing it out. 

She's still a little clumsy, her fingers try to remember how it feels again. But when she feels like she's getting the hang of it, Julie started playing the opening melody to 'Wake Up'

_Here’s one thing I want you to know_

It comes out of her in a rush, all the guilt, the sadness, the resentment that has been building up. Julie let it all out, voice trembling, hand a little clumsy. But this moment, it's all hers. 

She lets her voice fill the spaces of the loft until everything stills as she bursts into tears. 

Julie knows it's gonna take a long time until she's gonna be okay with the fact that her mom is gone, but this, this feels like a start. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the quote comes from an Italian writer called stefano benni. i only know it from skam italia. anyway, I hope you enjoy this!


	6. chapter six: I'll be the anchor cast below

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title chapter comes from tethered by sleeping at last. I hope you enjoyed it :)

  
When Julie comes out of her long shower, seeing the boys practice doesn't hurt as much. It doesn't feel like she wants to go straight to her room, and pretend that she doesn't hear the ruckus next door. 

Letting a small smile pass her lips, she let herself stand there and watch. Her hair is still damp from the shower, and she's still in her bathrobe but this feels right. 

It's harder to temp the urge to join them, now that she knows music is back in her life. Seeing Reggie bouncing on his feet as he plays, Alex’s relaxed face behind the drums and Luke’s pure bliss as he strums his guitar-Julie wants that too. 

"You guys know this is just practice right?" She teases. "Save it for the real audience."

Luke looks up, and the smile he gave to her is surprisingly shy. "Go big or go home, Jules."

"Besides, Luke will freak if we don’t go all in," Alex interjects. "Or quoting him..."

"It's about playing music, it's about the connection," Alex and Reggie say simultaneously. 

Julie can't help but laugh, "How many times did he tell you guys that?"

Alex sighs, "Too many to count, Jules. Too many to count."

"It's been drilled in my head at this point," Reggie pipes in. "I think my sleep paralysis demon sounds like Luke too."

Luke’s sound of protest is drowned by Alex hitting his drum loudly. Julie can't help but laugh even louder. The petulant look in Luke’s face makes it all more worth it. 

"Anyway, Julie," Reggie says. "You should join us sometimes. That will be rad."

She froze. Julie can see the way Alex eyes widens and Luke trying to kick Reggie’s leg which fails miserably. 

It feels like the air has been taken straight out of her lungs. "What?" 

"You play the piano right?" 

Luke kicks Reggie’s leg more forcefully this time. It doesn't escape her notice. "Dude, what the fuck?"

Luke only flails his arm, trying not to make it obvious before he huffs, frustrated. It's confirmation enough for her. 

Julie hopes she looks menacing enough because the knowledge that they were there when she's vulnerable doesn't sit right with her "You guys were there?!" 

Luke flails his arm again, "Uhmmm...We were... " 

"Somewhere. Not here," Alex interjects, fast. 

"We definitely didn't hear you today," Reggie says at last. Luke doesn't even bother to kick Reggie this time, just sighs in defeat. 

Before she can reprimand them about boundaries, putting his guitar to the side, Luke has walked closer to her. "Jules, there's a gelato place that just opened. I'm dying for one right now."

Any other time, Luke blatant flirting makes her roll her eyes in fondness, making her flustered as she tries not to think about her silly little crush. But she's too pissed off right now. 

"Boundaries! Please. I thought you guys had already gone when I played."

Walking close to her, Alex’s face is plagued with guilt. "We were. But then Reggie forgot his wallet so we came back. And you know, we heard you play."

"I think you sound amazing, Jules," Luke utters, softly. "Absolutely amazing."

"Your voice literally gives me chills!" Reggie exclaims excitedly."How did you hide it all this time?"

"I agree," Alex admits, "I mean, Luke looked like he discovered music for the first time, hearing you sing."

Julie expects Luke to deny it, but Luke just grins at her. "Yeah. How can I not?"

She can feel the blood rushing to her cheeks. Hoping the boys won't notice it, she glares at the three of them. "Doesn't make it okay though."

Alex nods like he expects it, "We know."

Playing with her fingers absentmindedly, Julie wonders if she can be honest with them. "I haven't played in years. It's the first time I played since..."

"Your mother's death." Luke finishes for her. 

She nods, eyes glued to the ceiling trying to avoid the boys’ gazes. "I mean... I don't blame you guys for being there. It's just weird.. I guess."

Silence hangs between the four of them. Luke opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. Completely out of his comfort zone. 

It caught her off guard when Reggie comes forward and pulls her into a hug. It's awkward, and takes time getting used to. But it feels safe, and comforting, being held like this. 

Alex joined them not long after, stroking her head gently. Luke was last, a tangled mess of limbs as they stand there holding each other a little tighter than before. 

There's something about the wordless gesture that makes something crack open in her chest, as she feels like pieces of her have been sewn back together. 

The feelings stay long after. 

* * *

  
Julie is not avoiding Luke. No sir, she is not. 

Okay, maybe she kinda is avoiding him.

After the whole ordeal, Luke seems to have one thought and it's asking her to try singing with the band. It's been a while since she played music, let alone play with someone else. 

Not that Julie didn't want to. 

It feels intrusive. Being their roommates is one thing. Being a part of their band is a different thing entirely. 

"If you want to get back into music then go for it," Luke says one morning, bouncing at the ball of his feet. 

Julie seriously wonders how much energy Luke has when she can barely function before she takes a sip of her morning coffee. 

As she tries to gain her bearings, blinking languidly against the weight of her heavy eyelids she gives Luke a look. "Is this an ambush?"

Leaning besides the kitchen counter, Luke hums like he pretends to think about it. "Maybe."

She snorts, "In Luke vocabulary that means yes."

He grins at her, and Julie feels instantly awake. Jesus Christ. She got it bad. Trying to make herself busy, she takes a sip of her coffee. Good. That feels better. 

"Don't waste your talent, Julie. I mean it. Your voice is incredible."

It's hard not to feel pleased by Luke's compliment. Julie knows he means it. And that's why it's getting harder to refuse his offer. "Or I could just go solo."

"You'll be killing it."

She pauses. "I thought you're trying to ask me to join your band?"

Luke shrugs, "Honestly at this point? Seeing you play music again will be enough for me."

Her mouth hung open in surprise. Clearing her throat, she focuses back on sipping her coffee. 

"You haven't played anything," Luke accuses. 

"It's taking time getting used to it," She admits. "It's been years, Luke."

"And you still sound amazing."

Julie sometimes wonders if Luke knows the effect of the words that come out of his mouth. Because he's making it harder for her to forget the little crush she has on him. 

(The only consolation for her, knowing that Luke has a soulmate.

And she has hers. And it's not fair for either of them to be hung up on each other) 

"Or maybe, you could help me write one of sunset curve’s songs?" Luke offers giving her effective puppy dog eyes. "I know you write too." 

Putting down her cup of coffee, she sighs. "If I say yes will you leave me alone now?"

Luke shakes his head, a small smile burst from his lips. "Never. You're stuck with me now."


	7. chapter seven: it's a glimpse of light in a mine of gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a longer, better chapter than the last one. I feel like last chapter was terrible because I was in a bad place, but you guys seem to like it, thank you :) 
> 
> Everything will be answered with time, I know it seem there's too many plot holes lol. It will probably will have plot holes when I end this, but most of it will be answered. 
> 
> The next update will probably took more time than this one. this has been beta read by Lea, as always. I hope you enjoy this 💓
> 
> title comes from joy by sleeping at last

When she walks up to the kitchen that morning, Julie is surprised to find Luke and Alex already in the middle of an intense discussion. 

It's too early in the morning, can't they tell? 

Reggie likes to cook, but he rarely ventures to the kitchen in the early morning. Alex usually comes out of his room to grab some morning snacks before going back to his room to sleep some more. 

Most of the time, Julie will find Luke. Rummaging the fridge, sitting on the kitchen counter with a journal, having a cup of coffee prepared for her. Complete with a carton of soy milk for her to add in. 

The last one will never stop being surprising to her. Washed over by the sunlight from the open beam of the kitchen ceiling, Luke has no rights to be that pretty in the morning. 

("Is this a bribe?" She blinks, surprised. Her favorite cup has been sitting on top of the table, filled to the brim with coffee. 

Luke grins at her. Boyish and charming, "Is it working?"

Sipping her cofffee slowly she hums, "Try harder."

Luke laughs, "Then I don't mind making you coffee until you agree to join our band, Jules.") 

(And as her mind become much clearer, it's clear that Julie wants these small moments to be hers and Luke's alone) 

"Morning," She greets sleepily. Alex and Luke greets her back before discussing god knows what. Julie will say it again. It's too early in the morning. 

Pouring the soy milk into the cup, Julie can see Alex’s horrified look, "Dude, that's so wrong in so many ways."

Luke just shrugs, "Don't knock it till you try it."

Alex wrinkle his nose in disdain, "No, thank you."

Leaning on the fridge, she looks up. Curious.

"What's Luke weird concoction today?"

"Your friends cinnamon rolls." She waits for Alex’s next words. "Mixed with hot sauce."

"There it is," She muttered, amazed. Julie sometimes wonders how Luke comes up with all these weird food combinations. 

At first, she was horrified, nowadays it's become a topic that she can bring up with Flynn whenever they meet up.

("What did they do this time?"

"Honestly? I lost count.") 

  
  


"Could you tell your friend, these cinnamon rolls are amazing," Luke said, pointing at his hand that’s still holding one of the rolls. "She could visit one of these days."

Sitting in the vacant seat in front of Luke, she answered, "Sure. I'll tell Jaime you like it."

(Jaime being the angel that she is has offered to give her a pan of cinnamon rolls she made, winking at her conspiratorially, "I think these would fit them perfectly."

She can't help but laugh)

"Don't you want some?" 

She grimaces. "No. I think i just lost my appetite."

Alex started snickering beside her, sipping at his own cup of coffee. 

"So, this is new. Where's Reggie?"

"Right, I forgot," Alex says, turning to her. "It's his birthday and we're trying to make him leave the loft for a couple of hours, top."

Her eyes widened, "Is there gonna be a party?"

"Only us," Luke interjects. "You know. Family thing and all."

Julie tries very hard not to appear excited from the simple statement, the way Luke says it easily, without any hesitation from his part but she can see it's not working very well as Alex gives her a knowing smile. 

"Oh. Right. Family party and what not."

"Can you distract Reggie?" Alex asked. "Ask him to go somewhere with you."

Luke pouts, "Why not me?"

Alex rolls his eyes, "Because Reggie won't suspect a thing. Besides, I think Reggie would like to spend more time with Julie."

She smiles slightly, "I don't mind. I'd like to spend more time with Reggie too."

(She doesn't miss the way Luke looks even more petulant than before. Nope not gonna read into it. 

That's a slippery slope she's not looking forward to address) 

"I can ask Reggie to accompany me to a music store?" She offers. 

"No!" Luke exclaims loudly. Alex kicks her leg slightly underneath the table. She gives him a confused look. "If you're gonna go to a music store I want in."

Alex gives her a warning look, before turning his attention back to Luke. "Dude. You really gonna leave me alone in here?"

"I'll think of something!" She cuts in. "Jeez, okay. I got the hint."

"Julie, if you ever go to a music store without me..."

She laughs. "I promise I won't."

  
  
  


///////////

  
  


Julie ends up asking Reggie to accompany her to the bakery not far from the loft. She ends up learning a lot. 

That Reggie loves and adores country music, he hates movies with sad endings. He wanted to play violin growing up but found it difficult, and ended up learning bass instead.

Sitting in the booth near the front entrance, Reggie tells her, "I haven't had the best family growing up."

Julie pauses, looking up seeing Reggie avoiding her gaze as he peels back the paper from the cupcake he's eating. 

"I'm sorry," She murmured, feeling out of place. 

"It's not that bad. At least they didn't hit me."

The joke rings hollow in her ear. Reaching out, she takes his hand. "Reggie. Still. That's not okay."

Reggie shrugs, "You didn't even know what they did. Like I said. It's not bad."

"I don't care," Julie insists. Determined. "If they hurt you, they hurt you. No need to justify it. You're allowed to feel hurt about it."

He gives her a small smile. "Okay. That's fair."

She pats Reggie’s hand reassuringly, "Good."

They grow silent, but it's not awkward. It's comfortable. And Julie thinks she understands a little bit more about Reginald Peters now. 

"We all have shitty families. For different reasons," Reggie continues mid chew. "I don't remember how it started but we used to buy cupcakes for whoever's have their birthday. Eating them together, hand stained with frosting."

"Is it your birthday then?" Julie asks innocently. "Or Alex’s? You only choose cupcakes today."

Reggie blinks, looking at the cupcakes at his plate before a wide smile formed on his lips, "That easy huh?"

She nodded, "Happy Birthday Reg."

He beams at her before cutting the cupcake in half and putting it on her plate, near her uneaten croissant. She opens her mouth surprised. 

"That feels more like it," Reggie sighs happily. 

Julie shakes her head, trying to bite back her pleased smile. "Thank you, Reginald."

/////

Alex has given her the clearance to come back. 

(She asks if there are cupcakes prepared and Alex immediately replied yes. 

Alex doesn't seem surprised with her question, only ask her to notify him when she's near) 

When they finally walk in, the living room has been decorated with balloons scattered around, on top of the table there's an assortment of different colored cupcakes. 

"Happy Birthday!" Alex and Luke exclaim loudly. Shaking their hands excitedly. 

Reggie gapes at the sight before turning to her, "You're in on this."

Julie shrugs, "Maybe?"

He laughs in disbelief before pulling her into a hug. She hugs him back, just as tightly. 

"Hey!" She can hear Luke shouting at them. "Reg, we're the ones who've made all of this! Where's our hug?"

Pulling back, she can see Reggie rolling his eyes before walking to Luke and pulling him into a hug. Reggie hugs Alex next before the three of them just laugh and hug each other again. 

It's times like this that she misses Flynn so fucking much. 

Once it's all done, sitting on the sofa they enjoy the cupcakes, tossing some the balloons around as she tries not to flinch when the balloon almost pops when Reggie holds it. 

(She doesn't understand how can Reggie do it when she's pretty sure there's no sharp objects around them right now) 

"You squeamish, Jules?" Luke asks her amusedly, his hand holding one of the balloons. 

"Yeah," She answers begrudgingly. "It's scary."

"You're not afraid to live with three strangers that you found on the internet but popping balloons is scary?" Alex retorts, baffled. 

When Alex put it like that, it does sound ridiculous. "Pretty much, yeah."

Luke chuckles beside her, while Reggie decided to throw the balloon again. 

"Jules," Reggie calls. "Can you sing me something?"

She sighs before standing up. "Count this as a birthday present."

Reggie grins, "Noted."

Alex gives her an encouraging smile, Reggie claps his hand excitedly, while Luke sat up straighter. 

Julie tries not to run. This is just them. Her boys. Sitting at the piano bench, she contemplates what song she should play. Right. Reggie loves country. 

Julie takes a deep breath, before pressing the piano keys. 

_How can someone stand so damn close_

_And feel like they're worlds away?_

She regrets her song choice now, feeling like she's being too obvious. Focusing on the piano, she tries to focus on the song. 

_I can see your sad story eyes_

_So how do you have no words to say?_

_All I want is to fall in deeper_

_Than I've ever been, why won't you let me?_

Julie can see that Luke has walked closer to her. It takes everything in her not to look up as she sing the next verse, 

_I can handle your heart, so help me_

_Here you are, next to me_

_So much beauty at my feet_

_All I wanna do is swim_

_But the waves keep crashin' in_

_No, I'm not afraid to drown_

_Take me out, take me down_

_I'm so tired of the shore_

Looking up, she can already see Luke staring back at her. She falters a little bit, before focusing back at the song

_Let me in, baby_

_You're an ocean, beautiful and blue_

_I wanna swim in you_

Trying to focus, she keep her eyes glued to the piano

_Like a lighthouse, I've been shinin' bright_

_Through the dark for the both of us_

_And, "I've done it outta love" is not enough_

_But God, how I wish it was_

She's surprised when Luke joined her, in the next verse. Leaning near the piano, his hand holding his phone open. 

_And I don't wanna find out_

_How much lonely I can take, before you lose me_

_Baby, look at me and swear you won't lose me_

Their voices blend smoothly, and it shouldn't surprise her really that Luke picks up the melody quickly. Julie has sang with many people in the past, but she's not sure she ever has sung with someone who harmonized with her so easily, like Luke did

_Here you are, next to me_

_So much beauty at my feet_

_All I wanna do is swim_

_But the waves keep crashin' in_

_No, I'm not afraid to drown_

_Take me out, take me down_

_I'm so tired of the shore_

_Let me in, baby_

_You're an ocean beautiful and blue_

_I wanna swim in you_

Luke grow quiet when the melody changed, going to the bridge as she belt the words

_I can't let it go_

_From moments in your arms_

_But they come back again_

_The waves, the waves, the waves, the waves_

_The waves, the waves, the waves, the waves_

He join her again at the last verse, as their voice blended together, clearer than before

_Here you are, next to me_

_So much beauty at my feet_

_All I wanna do is swim_

_But the waves keep crashin' in_

_No, I'm not afraid to drown_

_Take me out, take me down_

_I'm so tired of the shore_

_Let me in, baby_

_You're an ocean beautiful and blue_

_I wanna swim in you_

Finishing the last note, she looks up already knowing that Luke’s eyes are on her. 

How long has he been looking? 

"Lady Antebellum! Nice!" Reggie exclaims, clapping his hand. "Your voice gives me chills, Jules."

With the moment broken, she focuses her eyes back on Reggie. "Thank's."

Alex hums thoughtfully, "Impressive. Luke doesn't even like country."

"Shut up," Luke hisses, glaring at Alex. Alex just smile innoncently back. 

Julie clears her throat, trying to focus back on Reggie. "I'll give you something better next time. I promise."

Reggie waves his hand, "No need. That was perfect."

"Yeah. It was," Luke says quietly. "Perfect."

Hoping her flush won't be too noticeable, Julie stands up. "Okay, I need another cupcake please."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see Charlie story about him eating cinnamon rolls with hot sauce and you bet I will add it in the chapter. It works so well, more than I thought. I also will shame him for his weird pregnancy craving. 
> 
> I know it's Jeremy that saying how weird that Madison is afraid of popping balloons, but for the sake of the story let Alex says it. 
> 
> Song used in this is Ocean by Lady Antebellum. (or Lady A)


	8. chapter eight: these wild oceans shake what's left of me loose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *warning! please read*  
> content warning: this chapter does contain sensitive material and some bad language about sexual assault that could be triggering and upsetting to some people. 
> 
> I've highlight the scene with bold so you can skip the part if you want to. The rest of the chapter is normal and you can read it easily. 
> 
> I really do not want to upset anyone so please don’t read if you think this could upset you. Thank you
> 
> title chapter comes from neptune by sleeping at last

It's been a while since the last time she  cooked . Julie remember s how she  tried  to take her mother ’s role after she passed away, going as far as learning how to cook before her dad put a stop  to  it. Julie doesn't mind. She's horrible at it anyway. 

"You sure you know what you're doing?" Alex asked. If his eyebrow raises any higher, she thinks she'll throw one of the pasta shells at his head. 

"She's doing fine," Reggie pipes in, his grin turn ing to a grimace at the sight that greeted him. Sue her! She doesn't know how to chop things properly. Big deal. 

"Shouldn't he help?" She exclaims, pointing her fingers accusingly at Alex. 

Alex give s her a shit eating grin, "Well, Reg usually need s one assistant anyway. You offered so I'm gonna retire early."

She pouts, refusing the urge to stomp her feet like a child. "That's unfair!"

"Well, you're a part of this now," Alex answer s easily. Standing up from the counter before stroking her head softly. It never fail s to make her smile. And Julie knows that's why Alex's doing it right now. "Bye. Let me know when dinner's ready."

Reggie hums thoughtfully beside her, "Alex's right you know. You never help making dinner."

"I never really like d cooking," She retorts dryly. "I just learn ed the basic s . Easy things."

"It doesn't seem you even know the basics."

Julie open s her mouth surprised, while Reggie just smile s teasingly at her. She shake s her head. "I'm this close to committing a crime right now."

Reggie smile s che e rfully at her, "As long as dinner is ready."

Julie  has never  made  lasagna before, and Reggie is committed to  making  a whole pot of the beef filling from scratch so it can last for a week. 

She's really starting to regret her choices now. No wonder Alex let her happily take his place. 

"That smell s amazing."

Looking up she can see Luke waltzing in, a little tired, fresh from his shift in the bakery. 

"Hey," Julie greets, smiling slightly. "I'm helping."

Luke chuckle s , amused. "I can see that."

A flush started to form on her cheeks. Of course. She must look like a mess now. Her hair a sticky disaster. 

"It's lasagna night!" Reggie declares, swinging the wooden spoon in his hand excitedly. "Dude, it will be life changing."

"I'm sure it will dude," Luke replied smoothly. Turning back to her, he give s her a small smile. "Can I do something real quick?"

Puzzled, she nod s her assent. "Sure."

Without a word, Luke grip her shoulder lightly as he asks her to turn around. Before she could ask what he's trying to do, he already took off her scrunchies, stroking her hair gently before pulling back her hair. 

Oh. 

She can feel Luke's warm breath behind her ear as he methodically pulled her hair into a tight ponytail, making sure  no  strands of hair  escape it. Julie is sure she's gonna die. Luke is dangerous this close. 

Turning her back around, Luke grins. "All better now."

"Thanks," She croaks, wincing when she realizes her voice come s out shaky. She clears her throat. "I think the sauce  is too spicy."

Reggie give s her a look, smiling  innocently  at her. "What sauce?"

"You know," She flail s her arm. "The sauce we talk ed about. We've made it together."

Thankfully, Reggie seem s to take mercy on her. "Right. I think I'm gonna check the sauce."

Maybe not. Because the winking that Reggie does afterwards feel s like he makes matter s worse. 

Julie is going to kill him. 

"Do you want something to drink?" Luke offered. Looking at her, concerned. "I can help Reggie if you want."

She shake s her head, fast. She does need a drink. Or two. But Luke doesn't need to know that. "No! Thank you though! I promised Reggie that I will help him."

"You sure?" 

"Next time you can help him all you want."

Luke laughs charmingly at her, "Okay. Can't wait for dinner."

Julie's pretty sure the laugh that come s out from her lips is the most awkward thing, but Luke doesn't seem to notice. Only give her a smile before he go es . 

Turning around, she can see Reggie leaning at the fridge door, grinning teasingly at her. 

Taking the knife, she points it threateningly at him, "Not a word."

"I didn't say anything!"

"That's what makes it worse," She muttered, trying to ignore the warmth that still emit ted from the place Luke touch ed her last. 

* * *

Right when she thinks everything started to fall into place, Kyle has come back to her life. 

Trying to sit next to her in class, in the library. Giving her gifts she doesn't want, offering coffee with her favorite bagel in his hand. 

It's when he  is still waiting for her at the end of the stairs after one of her class es that Julie cannot take it anymore, "Kyle. I'm still being nice right now. So kindly, fuck off."

"Jules," He cuts in, already reaching for her wrist. Thankfully her reflexes kick s in fast,  that  so  she can avoid it easily. Without glancing at him, she already walk s away past him, leaving him behind. 

That should be the end of it. 

It's her day off today, she has no class and the boys have a gig in a small cafe nearby. Having the loft to herself is a rare thing that she treasures every time. 

Blasting the stereo while she dance s alone in the spacious space with nobody's around is the most fun she ’s had these past few days. 

Until she hear s the knock on the door. 

Look, Julie knows the wise thing to do to ignore it, she's alone and it's dangerous. But knowing how loud the song has been playing, it's obvious that she's at home. 

Maybe some neighbors want her to turn the music down. It  wouldn’t  be the first time. 

"A minute!"

**Assuming it's one of the neighbor** **s** **, Julie make** **s** **the mistake of not checking who's knocking. Because the person in front of her is clearly not.**

**"Kyle," She blinks, surprised. And that's what it took because without prompting Kyle was** **barging in to enter the loft.**

**"Hey asshole!" She shouts at his retreating back. "This is trespassing!"**

**"You opened the door and you know me," He replied without turning around. "It's not."**

**Frowning, she quickly intercept him. "What do you want? How do you know this place anyway?"**

**"To talk," He give** **s** **her a grin. Past Julie would probably give** **him** **the same grin. Present Julie kinda want** **s** **to punch him. "And to answer the second question, once I did take you home even though I never got** **this far. You're not ready to introduce me to your roo** **m** **mates."**

**"It's three boys and they're here," She retorts haught** **l** **y. Bluffing through her teeth. "So like I said, kindly fuck off."**

**Kyle just hums before sitting down on the sofa in the living room. "Introduce** **d** **me to them then."**

**"Why waste their time?" She shoot** **s** **back. Figuring that it's better if she just give** **s** **in, she says, "Talk."**

**"It's rude when you're not sitting down is it?"**

**Julie huffs, annoyed. "I need a drink. Wait here."**

**Without waiting for a response, she quickly walk** **s** **to the kitchen. Away from Kyle prying eyes, she pressed Alex** **’s** **number. Voicemail. Figured.**

**"I know you guys are busy but please if you're done come back. Fast. My ex boyfriend is here and he won't leave."**

**Hoping that it will be enough, she put her phone back to the pocket of her hoodie. Right. Coffee. She should make one.**

**When she comes back with a cup of coffee in her hand, sitting as far away from Kyle, knees tucked into her chest.**

**He raised an eyebrow, "None for me?"**

**"I figured you** **’d** **take the hint."**

**Kyle sighs, before standing up and choosing to sit next to her. Fuck. She can feel her skin crawling right about now.**

**"I'm sorry, Julie," Kyle starts, reaching out for her hand. She doesn't let** **him** **. "You have to know how sorry I am."**

**"That doesn't make what you did okay."**

**"I know," He continues, apologetic. "Soulmate is bullshit, Jules. You made** **me realize that. It's like we don't have a say in what we do and I get that now. And I want to be with you."**

**She shake** **s** **her head, "That's not how this works."**

**"Isn't it?"**

**"You can't just expect me to take you back after you made** **me the other woman. That's shitty. And I don't know your soulmate but I bet she's amazing."**

**"She's not you, Jules."**

**"No. But she loves you. I don't," She replied, cold. Julie hopes it's enough.**

**It took her off guard when Kyle** **’s** **voice turn** **ed** **velvety, "Maybe I should remind you, Julie."**

**Stroking her cheeks lightly, he whisper** **s** **, "I know you love me. You do."**

**Slapping his hand, Julie can feel her hand start** **s** **trembling, "Kyle. Stop."**

**Running his fingers on her bare leg, he ignored her completely. "I should remind you right?"**

**Tears started streaming down her face. She can't breathe, god she can't breathe. Begging her muscle** **s** **to move as Kyle** **caresses** **her cheeks once more.**

**"Sssh. Don't cry. I'm not gonna hurt you."**

**Julie closes her eyes, wanting this nightmare to be over.** **They** **snap open when she can feel** **that** **Kyle has pressed his lips onto hers. That's the last straw for her. In panic, she bites his lips. Hard.**

**"Fuck!" He wipes off the blood on his lips. "What the fuck is wrong with you!"**

**Taking her chances, Julie shoves him off her for good measures. Standing up with trembling legs, she runs, runs as fast as she can.**

**Not paying attention where she's going, she screams when she can feel another set of arms trying to steady her.**

**Looking up, Julie sees him. Luke.**

**"Hey," Luke utters softly, cupping her cheeks. She flinch** **es** **, feeling guilty when** **Julie** **she** **can see the flash of hurt in his eyes.**

**"Julie!"**

**Luke definitely notice** **s** **she's flinching again when she hears Kyle** **’s** **voice. She noticed Alex and Reggie not to** **o** **far behind, their face** **s** **stormy.**

"You need to leave," Reggie started voice low. Luke has started to pull her closer, sheltering her from the whole commotion. 

"  Trespassing  is not cool dude," Alex pipes in, his voice light. But his face clearly shows his dista s te. Alex points at the bruise that started to form near Kyle's lips. "Nice scar."

"I bit him," Julie can't help but interject. Four pairs of eyes immediately focused back on her. She shrugs, trying to act nonchalant. "He won't take no for an answer."

Holding Luke clenched fist, she continues. "Call the police. Let them handle it."

Kyle ’s face scrunches up, "Julie."

"Can you just take me out of here," She whisper s to Luke quietly, ignoring Kyle ’s pleading look. Alex and Reggie already trying to hold Kyle back from reaching out to her. "Please."

Without a word, Luke has already tugged her away. 

* * *

  
  


Her hand can't seem to stop shaking. Why can't it stop? 

And it's a peculiar thing, as Luke gingerly take s her hand in his, she can feel the knot in her chest loosen. 

"This is okay right?" Luke ask s slowly, eyes searching hers for permission. 

Julie nods. Luke tightens his hold, caressing her knuckle gently as she tries to breathe. 

"I'm sorry we couldn't come in sooner," Luke starts, voice cracking at the end. Making the same circling motion on her knuckle as he tries to avoid her eyes. 

Julie pushes forward so that their forehead s are pressed together. Luke stay s still and she take s it as a victory, letting their breath  mingle  together.

"You're here now," She murmured softly. The admission next is the closest thing to a confession she can ever give from now. "That's all that matters."

Letting out a breath, she tries to bite back the sob that almost comes out from her lips. Her first tears come not long after. 

Luke pushes back, wiping the steady stream of tears that fall methodically down her cheeks. This time around, Julie can't help  muffling  down her sob as Luke pulled her close, sheltering her from the world. 

  
  
  


It's late when they finally come back to the loft. Having to  go  to the station to leave a statement and to make the restraining order they clearly need. 

Reggie stays in the loft while Alex and Luke  go  with her as a witness, the latter never let ting go of her hand and for that she is truly grateful. 

When it's time for Luke to  make  his statement, Alex is the one that stays beside her, stroking her head gently while one of his arm s is holding her loosely, that she knows she can let go of anytime. 

"We were so scared," Alex whispered. "That  was  gonna be too late. Or worse."

Nudging his shoulder, Julie tries to give him a reassuring smile. "You guys just came in time. Like always. Like I knew you would."

Alex ’s smile doesn't reach his eye s , "Good. I feel like I just lost twenty five years of my life."

She can't help but snort. Followed by a small chuckle that jump s out from Alex's lips. Not long after they both started laughing, looking a little crazed in the middle of a police station. 

Julie doesn't care. It's the first time that day that she feels like herself again. 

  
  
  


"Jules!"

She barely  has  time to be surprised when Flynn immediately pulled her into a hug when she arrived at the loft. 

"You're okay right? Please tell me that sick fuck  is  gonna rot in jail. How dare he... "

"Flynn," Alex chastises from behind her. "Let the girl breathe."

Flynn gives her an apologetic smile. "Sorry. How are you?"

Julie shrugs, "Terrible."

Pushing her hair away from her face, Flynn gives her a soft smile, "That's okay! Come on, Jaime made you _bungeoppang_! I know how much you love those."

Julie can hear the puzzlement in Luke's voice as he and Alex talk behind her. 

"Bong uh what now..?"

"All I hear is nonsense."

Letting Flynn lead her she ask s , "Is Jaime here?"

Flynn shakes her head, "We don't want to over w helm you. She's  at  a friend ’s house for the night."

"For the night?"

Flynn rolls her eyes, "Right. Alex probably hasn’t told you that I'm gonna be here tonight. Just like old times. Double trouble back again."

The whole day has been exhausting, and having Flynn back like this, Julie never realize d how much she miss es it. 

She stops. Flynn give s her a questioning look.  squeezing  her best friend ’s hand Julie give s her best friend a small smile, "I miss you."

"Miss you too, Jules."

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I remember how Jeremy says he rarely have lasagna so I just used it in this  
> -I want Luke tying Julie's hair back in the show please like Charlie do with Madison  
> -at first thinking making Julie defend herself with a pan tangled style but that's not realistic so I didn't use it  
> -bungeoppang is a korean snack, a fish-shaped bread filled with sweet red beans 
> 
> Thank you for reading! 💓

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this. Until next time


End file.
